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Please not the feet! August 25, 2010

Posted by caizooka in autism, autism parenting.
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3 comments

Okay, what happened? Did someone change the rules and not tell me? I feel like I’ve been left out of the loop. I’m losing things that I need. I lost my parking ticket today so I got to pay the lost ticket fee at the parking garage. Fortunately the dude cut me some slack and I only had to pay half.  But still…. Oliver was doing beautifully and then all of a sudden…POW! He’s freaking out. Jumping on my feet ALL THE TIME. I have issues with people jumping, stomping, amd stepping on my feet. Come to find out that it’s all part of the sensory integration stuff that he’s dealing with.  (yep, apparently Oliver is a ‘sensory seeker’) He has seem a bit off sensory-wise this past week. Purposefully running into things. Ramming his head into the sofa. Jumping too hard. Pushing too much. Stomping too much. Unfortunately, my feet must have been in the way of all of that. I should invest in some steel toe shoes. Do you think that Prada makes any? I’ll have to check my sources on that.

When you don’t sugar coat everything for Oliver when he is in one of these states, the world really comes undone. Well, excuse ME for losing my patience and telling him ‘No!’ Boy, did I pay the price for that. Yep, he told me that I’m stupid and that he hates me. On a normal day, I could shrug it off, but when I’m warn down, that hurt. Fortunately I knew better than to react to his words. That would have taken things to a whole nuther level indeed. Needn’t go there today.

I see all of the benefits for Emil having a brother with special needs. He is going to have such empathy for others and such a very unique perspective in the world. But, in the meantime, he yells, ‘shut up!’ when he hears something that he doesn’t want to hear. Then he glares at me as if egging me on. He squints as if saying, ‘I just dare you to get mad at me’. I guess that because I’ve blocked out when Oliver starts yelling slanderous, hurtful words and try and see what the bigger picture is, not what the behavior is. Emil soaks all of that in and realized that Oliver doesn’t get in trouble for saying such things, therefore he shouldn’t either. Yikes! What kind of machine do we have in motion here? I’m finding myself running out of ideas and seemingly allowing my children to run this roost.

We have had a glorious summer, but I can’t wait til school starts back up and we are all on schedules. Although it is terrifying at the same time, it will certainly be nice to get into a groovy groove.

wondering how much my right arm would fetch on eBay February 4, 2010

Posted by caizooka in autism parenting.
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2 comments

In putting tax info together, I came across some startlingly realistic numbers. I’m trying to figure out what autism is going to cost financially. What therapies have the highest rate of success? Which therapies are bogus? Which ones are right for O? So many questions and so few answers. He definitely needs ABA therapy. A lot of it. He currently goes 2x/week. I’m finding in research that it recommended that 40 hours/week is necessary to achieve any real results.  Hmm…40 hrs/week at $85/hour. That is $13,600/month. $163,200/year. I could probably find a teachers assistant that wouldn’t have such an hourly rate. Next, we’re finding that a lot of O’s tantrums are most likely caused by his sensory processing disorders. He will need that therapy at least 1/week. That is approximately $140/hour. $560/month. $6720/year. Then there is the gluten free/casein free diet which is not inexpensive. There are the supplements, the regular doctor visits. For other families out there that are encountering this, I wonder how they are coping. How you prioritize what is necessary vs. what is not. I guess that it entirely depends upon each child’s individual needs.

I’m not complaining here. I know that we’re going to find the very best solution possible for O and for our family. I am beginning to think that there are many different kinds and causes of autism. And therefore different coping strategies, different therapies, different cures. Some are better detected earlier, some not. Some manifest themselves in very complex, different ways. Is there a cure? I don’t know. I want to believe that I’m trying my hardest to do everything possible to give O the best space for him to grow in. Seeing him when he is having a tantrum is so painful. I can only imagine the pain that he is in when he is feeling all of the sensory overloads. I am truly afraid to say that I believe that there is a cure because I don’t want to put pressure on him, on me, on our family, for him to be cured of autism. I will love every ounce of him either way.

On a different parenting note…the parent of a 13 year old boy…it seems like girls are entering the picture. These sweet 7th grade girls who were at the 7th grade boys basketball game last night. So entirely adorable in their school color outfits from head to toe. Their cheers for the team. Their contagious enthusiasm. After the big win, they went over to congratulate the boys by hugging them.  Ooooohhhh. Never seen anything as awkward in my life as these boys when these spunky, precious girls came up and hugged them! I was half chuckling at their reactions to the girls, half embarrassed for the boys because it is so far out of their realm, and honestly, thinking a little bit of, ‘hey…hands off my son!’ Never felt that before. That’s just the beginning, isn’t it?!