seeking harmony

In response to a question in a rather serious meeting the other day about how our lives have changed since J’s accident, it dawned upon me as I uttered the words…

‘every conversation involves complex emotions and incredibly difficult content. We don’t talk about anything other than issues related to traumatic brain injuries, autism, or behavioral modifications. It is taxing and has taken it’s toll.’

…that I’m ready for harmony, grace, and sharing good times with our family. It’s terrifying. I’m not sure why. But it is. I’ve been thinking about why that is. The last 2 1/2 years since the accident were unbelievably difficult. But, the 3 years prior to that we had been trying to wrap our heads and hearts around figuring out what was going on with our son, O. He screamed all the time. Spaced out. Screamed more. Displayed very erratic behavior. Finally, the year before J’s accident, we got the autism diagnosis.

I’m ready to look to the day in the future that I can say, ‘yep, those were some tough days, but, look at how strong we all are for having made it through them together’.